After putting away the laptop into the rucksack, I tidied the plastic bottles from my desk at the Neapolitan co-working space and headed to the exit, drenched in sweat.
At the reception, I said cheerily, “Ciao! Grazie, to the two ladies. I knew I had to sign myself out and the one in the blue dress brought out the register. The dark haired one gazed upon approvingly.
Having written down the time against my name, I started to raise my hand in farewell when Blue said, “You need to scan this code on the wall and fill out the feedback form”.
“Sure”, I replied, taking out my phone, fully resolved to later inaction.
As I smiled and started turning away, Blue said, “You have to do it here. We can’t let you leave till you fill out the form”.
How did Dark and Blue intend to stop me? They were both in a sedentary position and the door was less than a meter to my right. Did they have guns in their garters? Why were they wearing garters? It was hot. I felt the threat preposterous.
“The form requires me to have a Google account — and I don’t have one”, I protested irritably, mendaciously. That ought to work, I thought.
Signora Dark was taken aback. This appeared to be a new situation. “Try again. It should work”, she suggested, with the optimism of the sun-kissed lands.
It did not, of course. Blue chipped in, “What shall we do now? Without the form…”, she left unsaid the horrors of non-compliance.
Now Dark asserted, “Ah, we have a paper form too”
Blue exclaimed, “No!”
Dark countered triumphantly, “Yes”, and dug out a folder from a drawer under the white desk.
Really, I thought to myself as I held up the piece of paper. But when in Rome, as they say — and I bent over and started filling it out, speaking aloud my answers to the questions. I had spectators.
“1. How did you find us? Google”
“2. Service at the reception? Excellent”. At this, both Blue and Dark went “Aaaaah”, in pleasure and unison.
“5. How long did you stay? Around four hours”
“Your Italian is very good”, interjected Blue.
“Thank you”, I said happily. “I started with the pandemic”.
“Is it your first time in Naples?”, asked Dark.
“Yes. No. I was here seven years ago”
“Do you like it?”, they asked together.
“Yes! But it’s too hot”
“Yes, even for us”, nodded Dark sympathetically.
“10. Suggestions for improvement? Air conditioning”
“Yes, yes, we are working on it”, answered Blue.
Handing back the form, I repeated my thanks and added, “A nice day”.
“To you too”, they beamed deliciously, as Blue relieved me of my empty bottles of water — a final act of friendliness.
